My mind is a hungover sleep deprived haze of colours and bubbles, shiny tights and furry hats, rainbow whistles that shrieked in the ears of anyone passing by. We watched the crowd from O'Connel street, walking against the parade scheming to become haare krishnas and start our own two person parade with a suicide mission, to collide with the rainbow people.
So we walked and looked at men who were far prettier than I am, wearing far more makeup and far brighter colours than I could get away with wearing. We walked against them and took in the topless, the glam, the blue section, the navy section, the political agendas, the safe sex, the anti violence all the different motives circling around the one general theme- an anarchy of rainbows and wild crashing of colours as we all just forgot our lives and accepted each other for all the wonderful things that make us individuals.
The parade ended by Christchurch where drag queens twirled flags and a man in a furry hat told us about tights that keep him erect at night time, and the feeling of wearing two pairs together to tease him just a little. He was graphic by his own admission and looked a little sick and a little insane but he amused us, then scared us but added to the general fun for the day.
We then retreated to drink on the grass hills watching people fall over and praying that we would not be one of them; searched for bathrooms and newsagents, met people we hadn't seen in quite some time and of course made some brand new friends. We blew whistles and yelled, wearing hot pink cowboy hats and posing for pictures to go on random gay websites. Ailbhe assures me I am now officially a lesbian- but as a man in the queue for the bathroom pointed out- her legs will one day appear painted on buses. They proved to be her most photographed and commented upon feature- as a boy in templebar worried if the tights were really tights or random images permanently dotted onto her skin with miniscule needles.
Afterwards we wandered through dublin where a disgusted john harvey spotted us wearing "ridiculous" hats. We wandered on to UCD and proceeded to decorate our ridiculous hats with berries and leaves and little tiny flowers in purples and pinks and white. The night gradually drew us back to Basils house where our hats were admired as gay men spent the night trying to distract our attention so they could steal the flowers for their hair. Smokeable things were in plentiful supplies much to the delight of a young impressionable boy with rent boy lips.
We drank tequilla that made us gasp for air, drank sweet white wine and fat frogs- danced to the time warp and questioned who had ruined the beautiful white couches with what I hope were red wine stains(it was john harvey of course). I put make up on boys as they told me about shaving balls, men with no hair under their arms and other such things. Myles narrated my life wonderfully, ailbhe narrated my life poorly, some might even say secretarally. The greatest discovery of the night was my untapped talent for locating mens nipples while their tops were on unfortunately it didn't work for women as I failed horribly in pin pointing the points on grainnes top. I was attacked by kieran and myles's bums(which I refused to touch but were reputably quite firm), tongues that wanted to travel my nose and other such things as I got caught up in the vile den of sin.
When the night came to an end I headed back to Fionas where dotsy tried to convince me that his feet were worth having fetishes over and commented loosely on my feet. After talking about foot related things for quite some time everyone died and retreated to their various coffins as I slept like road kill in Fionas back room. I woke to sunshine and the sound of people creeping out front doors and soon followed suit. The sun made the endorphins in my head giggle and dance, children kicked balls and ran around merrily- I didn't know my way out of the state and walked blissfully past houses that seemed unfamiliar to me.
When I hit town I found myself in my church, hodges figgis- a man outside asked me to model my cowboy hat but I refused. It was not long before I was gatecrashing a coffee shop and joining a host of pretty gay men in a mission to find other pretty gay men and objectify them in a most objectional manner. I found out that beads and hamsters and small children are all acceptable sex toys for men, that you can get fungus infections from sleeping with dead people and that a certain unfortunate young lady likes to flash her bum(much to our amusement). We bitched, we giggled- we teased myles about ruining his modelling career with the sunshine and finally parted ways outside the dragon where I am assure by kieran a cute guy has amazingly good breakfast rolls.
The last two days have been colourful and full of innuendoes and all that wonderfully bitchy fun with pretty people who like to yank each others chains or beads and romp around with blow up sheep ;-) I hung around town for a few more hours, wearing my hot pink hat, then my red fulffy hat- before having a crowd of cute boys model my hat for me and scare me with an array of questions that threatened to make me miss my bus. Finally I went and found some more men who serenaded me with straws- striped just for me- in any colour I choose. I said I would pass but thank you, they said I was making a pass, and ran away to the sounds of their giggles thinking 'what a wonderful way to end a day'!
Now I am all prouded out I will sleep like road kill flattened on my bed by the sheer excitement of pride and all the things we should be proud off. It as times like this I love Dublin!
